DANIEL FINNEY

After seven years of hell, Iowa veteran fights PTSD one workout at a time

Daniel P. Finney
The Des Moines Register

Joy and Josh Clark were watching a cricket match on a smartphone when I met them at a restaurant to talk on a recent afternoon.

The couple explained the finer points of the game to me for a good 15 minutes. They might as well have been talking quantum physics, but their enthusiasm for their offbeat sport was as infectious as their sweet affection for one another is adorable.

Joy and Josh Clark of Des Moines

Joy Clark occasionally leaned her cheek on her husband's shoulder. He reached his arm around her shoulders. The warmth of their bond was obvious and solid.

It was good to see Joy Clark smile again. The couple is a testament to resilience, given the hell they've endured the last seven years.

Joy Clark is a sergeant with the U.S. Army Reserves. Nidal Hasan, the traitor turned mass murderer, shot her through the elbow on Nov. 5, 2009, at the first Fort Hood mass shooting.

Thirteen people died that day. Another 32 were injured, including Clark, who was preparing for an overseas deployment.

Hasan received life in prison without parole. Clark testified against him.

The trial ended in 2013, but the wounds left by that horrible day go far deeper than the zipper-like pink scar on her left forearm.

Joy Clark, a sergeant in the Army Reserves, survived the 2009 mass shooting at Fort Hood. She lives with PTSD and is coping with the stress through Lift for the 22, a program that encourages gyms and fitness centers to donate memberships for veterans who struggle after leaving military service.

Clark lives with PTSD. Nightmares haunt her sleep.

Flashbacks taunt her during the day. Bouts of survivor's guilt swell within her.

She even feels guilty that she was unable to deploy to Afghanistan with the survivors from her unit, despite nearly losing her arm after the shot shattered her forearm.

Clark struggled with suicidal thoughts. She spent months in inpatient treatment out of state.

Josh Clark is an architectural draftsman in business with his father. He tried to support his wife in every way he could imagine, but he felt her pull back into herself — to a place he couldn't reach.

"There are just times when I know that she has to withdraw," Josh Clark said. "She needs to take a break and go into the bedroom and read for a while. I had to learn to understand that."

I last talked to Joy Clark in January, she was raising money to help military veterans transition to civilian life after discharge. She raised nearly $2,000.

RELATED: Fort Hood shooting survivor from Iowa runs to aid vets

At the time, Clark wanted to attend the then-new "Star Wars" movie, "Rogue One." But Clark was wary of theaters after the 2012 mass shooter killed 12 at a Colorado theater on the opening night of "The Dark Knight Rises.”

She planned to attend school to earn the rank of master sergeant, a promotion that meant a much-needed bump in pay for her family, which includes the Clarks' 5-year-old daughter.

Her plans fell apart when her PTSD flared, filling her with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. She sought more treatment.

She's under medical evaluation to see if her condition will permanently prevent her from performing her duties. The process, she said, could take years.

But the 34-year-old Roosevelt High School alumna is observably better. She showers her husband with compliments for his patience and understanding as she heals.

"One thing I don't want to get lost in all of this is how important families are in healing," Joy Clark said. "My biggest resource, my best asset, is and always has been sitting right beside me."

Joy Clark also credits Lift for the 22, a national program started in 2015 by Navy veteran Carter Davis of Chicago. The program encourages gyms and fitness centers to donate memberships.

Lift for the 22 matches the memberships with veterans needing help adjusting to civilian life or recovering from injuries.

"We spend seven to 10 months getting our military ready to go to war, but we spend three days of PowerPoint presentations getting them ready to return to life," Davis said. "The one thing all vets have in common is (physical training.) This gives them the camaraderie and community they've been missing since they left the service."

The title of the program refers to an oft-quoted statistic that 22 veterans commit suicide a day. The number comes from Veterans Administration 2012 Suicide Data Report, but may be misleading.

Reliable data on veteran suicides are rare, but when the VA revised the report, the department's researchers gave a range of 18 to 22.

Still, anything that reduces that number, whatever it may be, is movement in the right direction to honor the sacrifice of veterans.

Clark participates in Lift for the 22 at SISU Strength Academy in Waukee with her trainer Jeff Coder. Coder worked with Clark at Lifetime Fitness in Urbandale, but while Clark found the gym friendly and well-equipped, her workouts were often lonely.

"At SISU, there is a sense of shared purpose and mission," Clark said. "You're working together to make each other better."

Coder, also a Navy veteran, is working with a team of five veterans and just added a sixth. Through the shared experience of workouts, the group makes strides to healthier lifestyles.

"Exercise is good for the brain and the body," Coder said. "Joy is a true inspiration – her improvement has been such a transformation."

The trauma remains with Joy Clark.

"It's not something I will ever be able to forget," she said.

But when her thoughts spiral on the living nightmare of that massacre or all the critical things she might turn onto herself, the gym becomes her salvation.

Clark breaks the cycle one movement at a time: a set of squats, deadlifts or shoulder presses.

She is freer now than she was at the beginning of the year. The Clarks have gone to movies together with their daughter. Struggles continue to come. Their home was broken into recently during renovations.

"That was stress we didn't need," Joy Clark said.

Yet the Clarks did what they always do: They cope and keep moving forward.

Daniel P. Finney, Des Moines Register Storyteller.

Daniel P. Finney, The Register's Metro Voice columnist, is a Drake University alumnus who grew up in Winterset and Des Moines. Reach him at dafinney@dmreg.com or 515-371-9453. Twitter: @newsmanone.