Four children at home, Mom deploys to Afghanistan

Every day after school, Jessica Hoenicke and her four kids work on homework around the kitchen table.

They practice multiplication and the alphabet. Her two oldest compete to see who can solve math flashcards the fastest. The younger ones read out loud.

This week there's been less focus on work and more on play. They've been going to the park and riding their bikes. Anything the family of six can do together.

On Mother's Day, Sgt. Hoenicke will deploy with her Iowa Army National Guard unit to Afghanistan. She'll be gone for a year. That's 365 days without reading, writing and arithmetic around the table; 365 days without bus drop offs and pick ups.

"I worry a lot about them, but I think that’s just the mother in me," she said. "That’s going to be the hardest part, is leaving the kids — not knowing every day where they are, what they’re doing, how they’re changing."

But she's ready. She's been deployed before.

She wasn't a mother back then, but Hoenicke knows she's helped raise strong, resilient kids who will be cared for by her husband, her mother-in-law and a tight network of friends they've built in Iowa.

More women in the military

Hoenicke, of Urbandale, is one of 60 soldiers from the 185th Combat Sustainment Support Battalion mobilizing Sunday as part of Operation Enduring Freedom. The unit is stationed at Camp Dodge in Johnston.

Their mission is to provide logistical support in the areas of transportation, maintenance, water purification and fuel distribution.

The Guard does not disclose exactly where the unit will be deployed in Afghanistan, but it will be the only Iowa Guard unit serving overseas, according to Master Sgt. Duff McFadden. It is the first Iowa unit to deploy since the 2nd Battalion (Assault), 147th Aviation Regiment based in Boone returned home last June.

Hoenicke is one of nine women in the unit. At least three are mothers.

The Pew Research Center found the number of women serving in the military increased seven-fold from 1973 to 2010. And that number is expected to increase as more military occupations become options for women.

This year, the Pentagon opened all ground combat jobs to women, and in April, the Army announced 22 women were to be commissioned as infantry and armor officers, according to USA TODAY.

In Iowa, 1,045 of the 7,000 soldiers enlisted in the Iowa Army National Guard are women. The Guard does not keep a record of how many of the 18,000 soldiers and airmen who have deployed since 9/11 were women, McFadden said.

Statewide numbers reflect national statistics, where women represent 14.6 percent of the 365,166 soldiers enlisted in the Army National Guard, according to the U.S. Department of Defense.

But even more women serve in active-duty military. Department of Defense statistics show 201,400 women are enlisted in the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps. They represent nearly 13 percent of the soldiers currently deployed overseas.

The Department of Defense does not keep track of how many of those soldiers have children.

Time for a change

Hoenicke joined the Iowa Army National Guard in 2002. As a full-time college student in Dubuque working three jobs, she knew she needed to make a change.

She spent five months training to become a soldier. Two months later, she was deployed on a yearlong mission to Kuwait where she helped control the border with Iraq.

She was 21, nervous and scared.

Hoenicke leaned on an older soldier in Kuwait. Dorothy McKeever was in her 40s when they served together as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom. A mother of two young adults, she took Hoenicke under her wing. She showed her what it took to be a good soldier.

"Having her mentor me in my first deployment helped me a lot in my career — what kind of leader I want to be and who I want to be as a person," Hoenicke said. "She was an amazing mother herself so watching her taught me a lot."

McKeever died in 2008. "She’ll be with me" in Afghanistan, Hoenicke said.

A lot has changed since that first deployment. Hoenicke, now 33, is a mother of four children ages 3 to 12. She's married to Sgt. 1st Class Jacob Hoenicke, a full-time instructor with the Iowa Ordinance Training Regiment at Camp Dodge. She works full time in human resources at the base.

"It’s going to be tough. She does a lot. We split roles and work as a team, so I’ll have to take on all that and just do it the best I can," Jacob Hoenicke said. "We are sad, but at the same time we know what she signed up for for her country. It’s our duty."

Motherhood follows overseas

Jacob Hoenicke will celebrate his five-year wedding anniversary May 14 without his bride. But temporary single-fatherhood will keep him busy.

There's Dezi, 12, and Giana, 10. They're Jacob's children from a previous relationship, but the family blended when the girls were 4 and 2. They call Jessica "mom."

Both girls are pretty quiet about the deployment, Jessica Hoenicke said. They're strong like their father.

"I'll probably have to help out more," said Dezi, who will become a teenager while her mom is away. Her friend's father has been deployed five times. She'll lean on her for support.

Then there's Cayden, 9, Hoenicke's son from a previous relationship.

Cayden is taking the deployment the hardest, she said. But that's expected — they've never spent more than three weeks away from each other. This week, she pulled Cayden out of school for a mother-son day. They spent time at Chuck E.Cheese's and raced go-karts at MB2 Raceway.

"I want them to have those memories," she said.

And there's 3-year-old Jocilynn. She probably won't fully understand the situation until mommy's actually gone, Hoenicke said.

"We're all so close. We're such a close-knit family," she said. "We talk about everything. Especially the girls, you know? Especially at (Dezi's) age now, she's going to need me and I'm not going to be there, so that kind of hurts."

Jacob Hoenicke said the kids are already planning to send care packages to their mom throughout the year. There's also Skype and email.

And while Hoenicke is leaving her favorite job as a mother at home, she's taking on a new role in Afghanistan — the one McKeever filled during her first deployment. There are two 19-year-old women working under her who are on their first mission overseas.

"I’ve talked to one of them. She said she’s scared, and I said that’s expected. But I said you’ll be fine," Hoenicke said. "I try to tell her it will be OK. I remember the feeling and I’ll help them through it."

Some people can never really stop being a mother.

Community send-off ceremony

WHAT: There will be a public send off for 60 soldiers from the 185th Combat Sustainment Support Battalion who are deploying to Afghanistan for one year. 

WHEN: 11:30 a.m. Sunday

WHERE: Iowa National Guard's Des Moines Airbase, 3100 McKinley Ave., Des Moines

DETAILS: Elected officials and the Iowa National Guard leadership will participate in the ceremony. The public is invited to attend. All visitors 16 and older are required to show a photo ID. All bags and vehicles are subject to search and all weapons are prohibited on the airbase.